When A Plane Crash Strands Thirteen Teen Beauty Contestants On A Mysterious Island, They Struggle To Survive, To Get Along With One Another, To Combat The Island S Other Diabolical Occupants, And To Learn Their Dance Numbers In Case They Are Rescued In Time For The Competition.
What is it about writing an author bio that gives me that deer in headlights feeling It s not exactly like I m going to say I was born in Alabama and somebody s going to jump up and snarl, Oh yeah Prove it At least I hope not.I think what gets me feeling itchy is all that emphasis on the facts of a life, while all the juicy, relevant, human oddity stuff gets left on the cutting room floor What is it about writing an author bio that gives me that deer in headlights feeling It s not exactly like I m going to say I was born in Alabama and somebody s going to jump up and snarl, Oh yeah Prove it At least I hope not.I think what gets me feeling itchy is all that emphasis on the facts of a life, while all the juicy, relevant, human oddity stuff gets left on the cutting room floor I could tell you the facts I lived in Texas for most of my life I live in New York City with my husband and six year old son now I have freckles and a lopsided smile I m allergic to penicillin.But that doesn t really give you much insight into me That doesn t tell you that I stuck a bead up my nose while watching TV when I was four and thought I d have to go to the ER and have it cut out Or that I once sang a punk version of Que Sera Sera onstage in New York City Or that I made everyone call me Bert in ninth grade for no reason that I can think of See what I mean God is in the details So with that in mind, here is my bio Sort of.TEN THINGS YOU DON T KNOW ABOUT ME by Libba Bray1 I lived in Texas until I was 26 years old, then I moved to New York City with 600.00 in my shoe cause muggers won t take it out of your shoe, y knowriiiiightand a punchbowl my grandmother s gift under my arm I ended up using the punchbowl box as an end table for two years.2 My dad was a Presbyterian minister Yes, I am one of those dreaded P.K.s Preacher s Kids Be afraid Be very afraid .3 The first story I ever wrote, in Mrs McBee s 6th grade English class, was about a girl whose family is kidnapped and held hostage by a murderous lot of bank robbers who intend to kill the whole family including the dog until the 12 year old heroine foils the plot and saves the day It included colored pencil illustrations of manly looking, bearded criminals smoking, and, oblivious to the fact that The Beatles had already sort of laid claim to the title, I called my novel, HELP My mom still has a copy And when I do something she doesn t like, she threatens to find it.4 My favorite word is redemption I like both its meaning and the sound My least favorite word is maybe Maybe is almost always a no drawn out in cruel fashion.5 My three worst habits are overeating, self doubt, and the frequent use of the f word.6 The three things I like best about myself are my sense of humor, my ability to listen, and my imagination.7 I have an artificial left eye I lost my real eye in a car accident when I was eighteen In fact, I had to have my entire face rebuilt because I smashed it up pretty good It took six years and thirteen surgeries However, I did have the pleasure of freezing a plastic eyeball in an ice cube, putting it in a friend s drink, Eyeball in your highball and watching him freak completely Okay, so maybe that s not going down on my good karma record But it sure was fun.8 In 7th grade, my three best friends and I dressed up as KISS and walked around our neighborhood on Halloween Man, we were such dorks.9 I once spent New Year s Eve in a wetsuit I d gone to the party in a black dress that was a little too tight too many holiday cookies and when I went to sit down, the dress ripped up the back completely Can we all say, mortified The problem was, my friends were moving out of their house everything was packed and on a truck and there was nothing I could put onbut a wetsuit that they still had tacked to the wall I spent the rest of the party maneuvering through throngs of people feeling like a giant squid.10 I got married in Florence, Italy My husband and I were in love but totally broke, so we eloped and got married in Italy, where he was going on a business trip We had to pull a guy off the street to be our witness It was incredibly romantic
- 396 pages
- Beauty Queens
- Libba Bray
- 25 July 2017 Libba Bray