Maybe You Should Talk to Someone



From A New York Times Best Selling Author, Psychotherapist, And National Advice Columnist, A Hilarious, Thought Provoking, And Surprising New Book That Takes Us Behind The Scenes Of A Therapist S World Where Her Patients Are Looking For Answers And So Is She One Day, Lori Gottlieb Is A Therapist Who Helps Patients In Her Los Angeles Practice The Next, A Crisis Causes Her World To Come Crashing Down Enter Wendell, The Quirky But Seasoned Therapist In Whose Office She Suddenly Lands With His Balding Head, Cardigan, And Khakis, He Seems To Have Come Straight From Therapist Central Casting Yet He Will Turn Out To Be Anything But As Gottlieb Explores The Inner Chambers Of Her Patients Lives A Self Absorbed Hollywood Producer, A Young Newlywed Diagnosed With A Terminal Illness, A Senior Citizen Threatening To End Her Life On Her Birthday If Nothing Gets Better, And A Twenty Something Who Can T Stop Hooking Up With The Wrong Guys She Finds That The Questions They Are Struggling With Are The Very Ones She Is Now Bringing To Wendell With Startling Wisdom And Humor, Gottlieb Invites Us Into Her World As Both Clinician And Patient, Examining The Truths And Fictions We Tell Ourselves And Others As We Teeter On The Tightrope Between Love And Desire, Meaning And Mortality, Guilt And Redemption, Terror And Courage, Hope And Change Maybe You Should Talk To Someone Is Revolutionary In Its Candor, Offering A Deeply Personal Yet Universal Tour Of Our Hearts And Minds And Providing The Rarest Of Gifts A Boldly Revealing Portrait Of What It Means To Be Human, And A Disarmingly Funny And Illuminating Account Of Our Own Mysterious Lives And Our Power To Transform Them.Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

LORI GOTTLIEB is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO SOMEONE, which is being adapted for TV with Eva Longoria In addition to her clinical practice, she writes The Atlantic s weekly Dear Therapist advice column and contributes regularly to the New York Times She is sought after in media such as The Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS This Mornin

[PDF] ✎ Maybe You Should Talk to Someone  By Lori Gottlieb – E17streets4all.co.uk
  • Hardcover
  • 432 pages
  • Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
  • Lori Gottlieb
  • 21 November 2017
  • 9781328662057

10 thoughts on “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

  1. says:

    If you ve followed me here on Goodreads for any length of time, you probably know that I am incredibly passionate about mental health advocacy It s something that we need to talk about , so we can break down the stigma surrounding it and people can pursue help So it should not be a surprise that I was excited to read a memoir about a therapist pursuing therapy to help her deal with her own issues or that I absolutely loved the book.These days, I m pretty open about the fact that I see a therapist and I love it I have only semi jokingly said many times that I think everyone should give it a try at least twice go to the initial intake appointment then go at least once to get a feel for it Even if you don t think you have a diagnosable condition such as anxiety or depression, just talking out your challenges and breaking down your less than great behavioral patterns with an unbiased third party can be an eye opening experience It s taken me a long while to get to the point where I feel comfortable talking about it with others, and I appreciate anything, like this book, that will help people talk about the process Lori Gottlieb pursued a career as a therapist relatively late in life She started out as a TV writer, but her time on ER spurred her to seriously think about a medical career She worked as a freelance writer while attending medical school and gradually began to feel pulled in too many different directions It was the helping people part of medicine that most strongly interested her, so an advisor suggested that she switch from and MD to a PhD in psychotherapy And yet, she hadn t really been in therapy herself, outside of the practice sessions she was required to do as part of her training So when her fiancee ends their relationship out of the blue and she finds that she has trouble processing her emotions about the situation, Gottlieb decides to seek out some professional help Using some clandestine methods, she asks a friend for a recommendation and begins seeing Wendell, a therapist to whom she has no professional or personal connections a surprising challenge Gottlieb starts out thinking that she just needs a couple of sessions to get over this hump, as it were, but her conversations with Wendell make her see that she could actually use help than she realized It s a jarring realization, but it s also one that seems to make her a better therapist as it makes clear the struggle some of her patients have in connecting the dots between their pasts and their presents, their problematic behaviors and the painful consequences, and being honest about things that don t put themselves in the best light The memoir is divided between recounting Gottlieb s sessions with Wendell, her sessions with her own patients specific details of which I have to believe have been heavily obscured , and a little bit about her path toward becoming a therapist and single mother The result is an incredibly open and honest look at the therapy process that lays it out better than any other depiction of therapy I ve ever read Gottlieb makes it clear that your therapist is not there to tell you what to do but to help you recognize how your own patterns might be causing you unnecessary pain, but she s also honest in showing how hard it is to recognize not so flattering sides of ourselves and how deeply ingrained our those patterns can be She s deeply empathetic, even when her patients frustrate her She seems deeply committed to learning how to be better as a therapist and a patient I even spent a good chunk of a session talking about this book with my own therapist, partly because I knew it was something she d enjoy reading and I can never not recommend a book to anyone when I think they d enjoy it, but also because reflecting on Gottlieb s experiences genuinely helped me have a breakthrough about some of the work that I ve been doing for the last couple of years This is a great memoir and I highly recommend it to all readers.

  2. says:

    Audiobook narrated by Brittany Pressley Brittany was excellent I can see reasons for owing a hard copy as well as the Audiobook Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist who writes a Dear Therapist advice column She lives in Los Angeles She attended Yale and Stanford University She has an impressive life career resume We are taken into her therapy sessions with her clients We also walk through the door with Lori for sessions with her therapist This book is the real deal not cheesy cheap advice From both sides of the couch Lori is easy to relate to She has it terrific sense of humor She brings out thoughts feelings in us that melt naturally into our skin as easy as smoothing coconut oil on She s not obnoxious or too over the top She s honest reminding us how human we all are It s fascinating watching the way a therapist cracks open the slippery little salamanders that people all of us , don t want exposed especially when feeling too vulnerable or threatened Loss, grief, betrayal, failure, depression, change, it s all covered and We become clear the way good therapy works therapist can t change situations but they can help clients have a deeper understanding of themselves Lori shares about her life experience and daily conversations being as important to bring into a session when working with a client as much as her of academic training This book is seriously personal and primal Absolutely outstanding excellent compassionate and informative Two thumbs UP

  3. says:

    What is therapy like The author breaks down the walls and gives us a peek behind closed doors into her sessions with clients as well as sessions with her own therapist, who she consults after a devastating break up We also get glimpses into the author s education, career, and her personal life.I felt as if I got to know her and her patients and I became invested in their lives Details were changed for confidentiality, but the spirit of the stories remained true and the problems were real I cried with Julie and cheered when John and Rita made breakthroughs The author divulges some tricks of the trade and along the way imparts bits of wisdom that we can take away to use in our own lives.I listened to this on audio and could have listened to The style is easy going and totally engaging I plan on getting a hard copy and putting a tin of book darts to good use.Highly recommended to anyone who loves behind the scene looks, character studies, and insight into all things psychological.

  4. says:

    A warm, engaging, and funny book about a therapist who sees a therapist after her boyfriend breaks up with her I so appreciate Maybe You Should Talk to Someone for further destigmatizing therapy I read somewhere that my generation is the therapy generation and yet so much stigma and misinformation surrounding therapy persists Gottlieb describes her experience in therapy for herself and the therapy she provides to a few different patients with compassion and humor Her writing style is conversational and demystifies therapy, both the process and the emotion involved, and her deep care for her patients and her own therapist is wonderful to read I always wanted to know what would happen next, and Gottlieb s insights always resonated on an emotional level without restoring to clich Just a few ideas that stood out to me and or felt relevant to my own life 1 that we often turn to anger when we feel hurt, that we lash out at others or ourselves in periods of intense emotional distress, 2 all relationships will involve some level of being hurt, either you being hurt or you hurting someone else, it s a matter of repairing that rupture after the conflict occurs and setting boundaries surrounding how much you re willing to put up with, and 3 I m not alone in having Facebook and internet stalked my therapist thank you Lori Gottlieb for normalizing my own behavior there lol I do rate this book four stars very intentionally, because Gottlieb does not acknowledge the importance of race, privilege, power, oppression, intersectionality, or culture, at all in this book I felt shocked that as such a competent therapist, she wouldn t mention the importance of taking into account how societal oppression affects patients and the therapy process and dyad I think she mentioned men being socialized to withhold emotional expression, but aside from that, nothing It s so important that therapists educate themselves on how to be culturally competent, and after reading this I m honestly unsure if Gottlieb would be the type of therapist who might commit a microaggression against a client or not acknowledge her privilege or power in the therapy dyad For people of color, queer people, and those at the intersections of marginalized identities, I d recommend this article to help you navigate how to find a therapist who s with it and will understand important concepts and lived experiences related to oppression and intersectionality I also feel like this book would have benefited from Gottlieb acknowledging her own privileges, in particular her whiteness, especially in terms of the smoothness of her career development trajectory despite multiple transitions.Overall, would recommend to those who want an engaging reading experience and are curious about or passionate about therapy As a therapist who s into writing I m appreciative that Gottlieb has expanded the canon of books about therapy, especially from a modern perspective I think we should all talk to someone, ideally a therapist, at some point in our lives, if we have the resources to.

  5. says:

    ONE STAR AUDIOIt s not you, it s me Anne Bogel enthusiastically raved about this book on her weekly podcast What Should I Read Next She recommended it in the same breath as Ask Again, Yes and I am obsessed with that book So, despite my misgivings about listening to all the therapist speak, I used a precious Audible credit on Maybe You Should Talk to Someone A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed.Lori Gottlieb has had an interesting life working in Hollywood first as a tv producer on shows like Friends Then, quitting that glam life to enter medical school, then quitting medical school to train as a therapist All the while, freelance writing and selling her articles to magazines Got all that I could only listen to 3 or 4 hours of this tormentingly long novel before screaming and throwing in the towel Gottlieb comes off as completely self indulgent, self obsessed and, weirdly NOT FUNNY She, seriously finds herself most amusing Ugh.I returned this Audible book did you know you can do that and bought another Anne Bogel recommendation Yeah, I still trust the lady with her book suggestions But, I m gonna listen to my own instincts first

  6. says:

    I m really not sure what to say about this book The positives I like that it is open and honest about mental health, therapy, self love, and facing our fears even if we re unaware what those fears are More books with a focus on these themes need to be written I felt close to each character as I got to know them and truly cared about the outcome of each of their stories The not so positives I m not really sure what the point of this book is It seemed like a journal that the author later decided to publish which she kind of admits to at the end It was clearly therapeutic to her to write it and make sense of what she had been through, but I m not sure how helpful her breakup experience is to the rest of us The structure was a bit disorganized chronologically and hard to follow at times there did not seem to be a clear plot with problem and resolution I kept finding myself thinking, Wow, that s emotion or reactionary adjective here , butso what Is this relevant to the rest of the story somehow I would have liked there to be a bit focus, and irrelevant details could have been left out to move the book along and help readers understand what the author wanted the message or theme to be Overall, I m glad I read this book I connected with the characters in many ways and cared for their wellbeing I just wish it had been strategically written and organized so that I would be left understanding what the author was really trying to communicate It could have been a lot powerful.

  7. says:

    Ever have a book that just completely blows you away This was THAT book for me.I listened to the audio which was perfection The narrator was one of the best I ve ever listened to but I had to have a print copy for highlighting putting on my 5 bookshelf The set up LA therapist Lori Gottlieb finds herself in need of her own therapist, so we get alternating chapters with her and her wise therapist Wendell interspersed with chapters of Lori s sessions with her clients I was SO invested in every single client I felt like I was on a journey with them and by the end I wanted This book is somewhat long 14 hour audio but I flew through it and would ve gladly read 100 pages PSA for you.Do not listen to the last 1 3 while drivingall the tears will most definitely cloud your vision like it did mine

  8. says:

    I m writing this review to see if I can make sense of my experience with this book Even though I found myself immersed in it for days, and making as much time as possible to read it, the experience ended up not being completely satisfying for a few reasons.My main complaint is the stories are real but are supposedly disguised enough to protect her clients privacy so they aren t real I was reading about those compelling characters and wondering what percentage of what she tells is the truth Fifty percent truth is not the same as ten percent truth, and what s the point of detailing a therapeutic process if you ve invented and mixed up the stories for literary privacy purposes I m a therapist myself and I know how unique each case is, how the effect of a sentence or an intervention depends on that person s particular context, so I don t see the value on basing it in real stories unless they re a hundred percent real Also, the dialogues can t be real either, unless she records the sessions, which she doesn t clarify It makes me wonder if it s all a bit polished up to fit the narrative, which feels a tiny bit scammy That s why think this would have worked better as a novel Lori is a very good writer and she builds great characters I loved John and the dialogues between the two of them This semi disguised format makes me feel as she s faking the honesty and the sharing, so I d have rather read something that s completely made up and taking it for what it is fiction.I also feel like Lori holds back a lot of her personal struggles, maybe for lack of physical space, since the book is already veeery long I ve read her prior book about finding a partner, Marry Him, and knowing how hard her struggle to find a partner was before Boyfriend, I d have guessed that s what made her break up with him that painful But she says nothing about that maybe because she doesn t want this book and Marry Him to overlap and talks about everything else in her life instead She tries so hard to make a point of her meltdown not being about her love life that she forgets to talk about her love life entirely, and it comes across as insincere if you know where she comes from.The Wendell character falls flat for me I don t see the quirkiness in his way of doing therapy, maybe because I ve known my share of quirky therapist and believe me he doesn t cut it Check out Milton Erickson or Giorgio Nardone s interventions THAT S quirky Gottlieb tells but doesn t show that Wendell is a different kind of therapist, but I can t tell the difference between his and her way of doing therapy, at least from the interactions she writes about.My last problem with the book is about her misleading explanation of what therapy is There are a lot of ways to do therapy and some of her assertions work just for a few of them You can do brief therapy successfully You can do Skype therapy successfully I am a licensed therapist too and some of her beliefs about the nature of human suffering and the right way to alleviate it are completely wrong to me, but I wouldn t write a book about my particular therapeutic orientation without disclaiming that other professionals might think and practice just the opposite It s a disservice to the profession that can misguide people in search of help into thinking that the only way they can get it is if they spend months and months doing weekly face to face therapy with tons of silences.The book does have its merits It s compelling and I didn t get bored even though it s long The dialogues are, as I said, funny and well constructed It makes you reflect on yourself and what you want to do with your life The stories are engaging, even though you can t help but wonder whether everything really ended up with such a round, Hollywood esque ending And I personally like Lori very much If she didn t quite hit the spot for me with this book it s because she takes risks with her writing, and I admire that.

  9. says:

    I didn t really have many expectations going into this except that I had heard a few good things about it on Booktube But it s a book I ended up telling everyone I know about as I was reading it This follows Lori, a therapist who goes to therapy herself after her boyfriend breaks up with her and she finds herself unable to cope with it What was supposed to be one or two emergency sessions leads into Lori discovering her grief over the break up might have root issues than she expected Told partly as Lori goes through her therapy, and partly through the therapy of her own patients, this was a really unique and human memoir I saw a few reviews saying they didn t get the point of this memoir but I think it didn t necessarily need a point For me, it was just a really nice book that demystified therapy and attempted to show how every person has similar issues, struggles and fears and how even the most difficult of clients can find something of value in therapy I thought it was a book about humanity and all the different shades of people, but how we are all connected to eachother through human relationships and interactions The way the experiences of Lori s clients are mirrored with her own in therapy really drove home this idea for me I also thought this was just a really interesting book about a therapy and how it actually works and some of the psychology behind it, and utilised by, therapists.Anyway, overall I really liked this I found myself super attached and invested in the stories of Lori s clients and I would genuinely describe this as illuminating Both in how it illuminated the inner lives of people and the things all people have in common, but also in showing the process of therapy from a personal and meaningful standpoint.

  10. says:

    Check out my review on Booktube

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