You Suck

[Download] ➸ You Suck Author Christopher Moore – Being undead sucks Literally Just ask C Thomas Flood Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced he discovers that his girlfriend Jody is a vampire And surprise Now he's on Being undead sucks Literally Just ask C Thomas Flood Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced he discovers that his girlfriend Jody is a vampire And surprise Now he's one too For some couples the whole biting and blood thing would have been a deal breaker But Tommy and Jody are in love and they vow to work through their issues But word has it that the vampire who initially nibbled on Jody wasn't supposed to be recruiting Even worse Tommy's erstwhile turkey bowling pals are out to get him at the urging of a blue dyed Las Vegas call girl named duh Blue And that really sucks.You Suck

Librarian Note There is than one author in the Goodreads database with this name Christopher Moore is an American writer of absurdist fiction He grew up in Mansfield OH and attended Ohio State University and Brooks Institute of Photography in Santa Barbara CAMoore's novels typically involve conflicted everyman characters suddenly struggling through supernatural or extraordinary circums.

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  • Audiobook
  • 8 pages
  • You Suck
  • Christopher Moore
  • English
  • 23 September 2015
  • 9780061227189

10 thoughts on “You Suck

  1. says:

    First of all I would normally never even think to read this book But as I was looking at the clearance rack a kid ie teenager approached me Hey do you like vampires?I was disturbed how unfazed I was with the completely random uestionSure Slightly waryHave you heard of Moore?He's a vampire now? That answers a lot of uestionsMichael Moore? I'm riffling books hoping he'll go awayNo not that crazy one this is a Christopher Moore He's hilarious and has his own cult startedThe clarification didn't really help gain any brownie points for Christopher Moore Ummmm that's cool Looking for exitThe kid picks up a book on the clearance rack Try him You'll love it If you like vampires you'll LOVE this bookI read You SuckA Love Story Is he high or something? This looks like a a suckASS bookOK thanks I'll give it a try I bought the book and now I'm so grateful that the kid decided that I was the vampire loving type of chickIt is impossible to completely classify this book So when you see the basic description of A love story on the cover that's the best way to explain it It's a love story of vampires that is hysterically funnyI can't even begin to try and explain why it's funny so just read it You'll start out being a little stunned then you'll giggle then you'll just laugh continuouslyWhatever you do DO NOT READ THE LAST SENTENCE OF THE BOOK UNTIL IT'S TIME It's a special sentence that will break you for a few days but you need the context of the book firstMy favourite characters? Abby Normal and Chet the huge shaved cat

  2. says:

    Another very funny book from Christopher Moore this one the middle book in his vampire trilogy Not as outrageous or imaginative as the other two this is still vintage Moore with his uniue way of dealing with a well worn fantasy subjectMoore may have thought of this trilogy a long time ago and so he may not be a part of the glutted market or he is but not even his comedic talent can completely offset the rush to vampirism that has plagued our books for a while

  3. says:

    Funny with some definitely uotable moments However for me Moore's vampire series is the weakest of his work That's not an insult I still enjoy them and definitely snicker out loud in ways that make those around me pick up their things and stealthily move away from the crazy person but they're a little too wink wink nudge nudge sometimes in their humor What impresses me with Moore is that often among all of the wacky chaos he can sneak up on you with a beautiful turn of phrase or moment that catches you off guard The scene where Jody feeds off of a man with terminal cancer is beautiful and touching without being maudlin Don't worry that there are too many moments like this though as there's plenty of Moore's trademark heinous fuckery most foulCross posted at This Insignificant Cinder

  4. says:

    This is my first Chris Moore book I uickly realized that this was a seuel but I was already into the story Why? Because Moore is fricking hilarious This is the story of two rookie vampires Jody and Tommy who are doing their best to avoid the law former friends and giving in completely to their primal natures And of course they need a minion Enter Abby Normal Her greatest struggle is trying to shove down her inherent perkiness and embrace the darkness of goth or whatever she is Her narration of the story is one of the most entertaining aspects of the book Then there’s the bronzed literally vampire who sired Jody The two fledgling vampires must decide what to do with him so he will no longer be a threat So if you like vampires who don’t take themselves too seriously or brood or sparkle hilarity and the mocking of gothemodeath punk kids and who doesn’t? this is the book for you

  5. says:

    I love Christopher Moore I mean I really really love this guy's writing I've given his books to friends made them reuired reading for classes that I've taught and generally done everything I could to help him alongBut this onewell the title pretty much says it all Moore slapped together a thin plot an ongoing lovers' uarrel some gimmicky scenes a major deus ex machina and an ending that is truly lameWhen the guy is on he is fantastic And when he's off well he sucks

  6. says:

    When I picked up this book to fulfill a book club reuirement I did not know that it was the second book of a trilogy I don't feel that I missed much I think the Author gave enough of a backstory that I did not need to go back and read the first book For me it did well as a stand alone book I didn't love it but I didn't hate it either I liked it It had some clever and funny moments The part of the book I enjoyed most was Abby's diary entries They were fun

  7. says:

    uick reviewCover Eh Rating NC 17Steaminess Steamy Thumbs Up 4Overall Still funnyCharacters Well WrittenPlot The accidental vampire and her lover still mucking things upPage Turner Yes Series Cont? Yes Recommend YesBook Boyfriend Thomas C FloodSUMMARY 50 words or lessI wasn’t sure when I started this one if it would live up to the first one but as I got into it the laughs were plentiful Floor and Abby Normal were priceless The hilarity of taken an accidental vampire and how she copes continues on in this installmentFor a full review and yummy pic see my blog post at Audio ReviewSusan Bennett brings this narration to life I swear I’m not sure I would have enjoyed the book uiet as much without her lively interpretation She just brings that little extra

  8. says:

    BlechI really enjoyed the last Christopher Moore novel and decided to try another despite the fact that the plot isn't ordinarily one that would draw my attention I picked this one because 1 it was handy on the library shelf and 2 it was written after A Dirty Job and I thought that meant it was likely to be written at least as well That was a mistake This one's going back to the library unfinished because I'm just not wasting any time on it I read about a uarter of the book in which stupid not particularly likable characters bumble their way through a stupid and artificial plot Usually if I read even that much of a book I'll see it through to the end if for no other reason than to find out what happens to the characters I've started to know This time though I really don't care

  9. says:

    Years ago I read Lamb by Christopher Moore and loved it I'm not sure if my tastes have changed or if Moore's output is just not consistent but I hated this book In fact this may actually be the worst book I've ever read I considered uitting at several points but with books and movies I have a need to see how they end even if I don't like them so I trudged onFor starters I didn't realize right away that this book is a seuel If this is indicated anywhere on my copy of the book I sure don't see it That having been said this series isn't exactly Game of Thrones so I didn't feel too lost by starting on book #2 but there were certain parts of the story that I felt like might have made sense if I had read the books in orderAlmost immediately after I started this book Moore's writing style started to irritate me The first 34 or so of this book is almost all dialogue This gets a little better toward the end once the climax starts and there's action but by that point I just wanted to get it over with and didn't really care anyEven worse than the excessive dialogue is the fact that I was ambivalent at best about the characters Most of them I actively disliked Many reviews of this book even negative ones mentioned that they enjoyed Abby Normal's diary entries but I couldn't even get into those I didn't feel invested in what was happening to any of the characters which made for a pretty boring read At one point midway through the book I actually started to have some hope during a scene in which Jody is walking through the city alone at night and the book gets into how she loves to walk around at night as a vampire and feel powerful and in control after being scared to do the same thing as a human woman I empathized with that and began to feel like okay maybe I can connect to this character Unfortunately a couple of pages later Moore went back to dead hooker jokes or something and completely lost me againSpeaking of the jokes I feel like a lot of this book's sins could have been forgiven if it was actually funny I can't uite put my finger on why but I never even cracked a smile It felt like Moore was trying too hard I could tell when it was supposed to be funny but none of the jokes actually struck me as such In fact many jokes in this book are downright offensive Now I'm no prude I love a lot of humor that is dirty or politically incorrect when it's done right This was not The book feels like it was written by a thirteen year old boy The constant objectification of women really grated on my nerves That along with racial slurs jokes about rape and necrophilia and flippant asides about things like eating disorders and Columbine that I think were actually meant to be funny was just too muchAfter reading this book I'm tempted to go back and re read Lamb to see if it's as good as I thought it was but to be honest I think it's going to be a while before I can bring myself to pick up a Christopher Moore book again

  10. says:

    35 stars You Suck A Love Story is a hilarious romp through San Francisco The book focuses on Jody and Tommy two new fledgling vampires and their rather unconventional love Jody bites Tommy and makes him a vampire He is not too happy with his new condition but is easily distracted by Jody and the allure of wild monkey sex with herChristopher Moore’s vampires have interesting powers They can turn to mist when necessary which helps them get out of trouble or causes trouble They burn in the sunlight or with UV ray exposure During daylight they sleep like the deadThe attraction of this book was the uniue cast of characters Everyone in this book is crazy in their own special way Each character or set of characters gets their own little subplot guaranteed to make you laugh Parts of the book are narrated by Abby von Normal a teenage wannabe nosferatu and sometimes goth Abby is Tommy’s minion his daylight helper She is infatuated with Tommy and would do anything to become a vampire In fact she thinks she is a vampire after Jody takes a drink from her Abby’s diary contains astute observations a little bit of teen rebellion and a lot of great new vocabulary like “endorken” Abby’s friend Jared adds some humor to the mix He is a gay teenager living with his parents who are in denial Other cast characters include Chet the really big shaved cat who makes a rather large appearance in the next book Tommy’s night shift friends from the Safeway store – the Animals – add even comic relief as they cash in their money from the previous book and run off to Vegas They return with the Blue a blue prostitute with rather large silicon implants She manages to service the boys and steal all of their money Jody and Tommy continue to try to evade Jody’s maker – Elijah They had him encased in bronze but he manages to escape Much mayhem ensuesI truly enjoyed this series Each book can be read on its own or even out of order It doesn’t really matter If you need a book to cheer you up and make you laugh then this is the book for you

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