Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both



An Eye Opening Examination Of The Hookup Culture, Seen Through The Personal Experiences Of High School And College Age Women Who Confront The Hard Lessons Of Dating, Love, And Sex We Re Living In An Increasingly Sexualized World, And It S The Young Particularly Young Women Who Must Deal With The Consequences Kids Are Having Sexual Contact Than Ever, And At An Earlier Age They Call It Hooking Up But What Is Hooking Up According To Laura Sessions Stepp, A Reporter At The Washington Post, Hooking Up Eludes A Neat Definition It Can Be Anything From An Innocent Kiss To Sexual In Unhooked, Stepp Follows Three Groups Of Young Women One In High School, One Each At Duke And George Washington Universities She Sat With Them In Class, Socialized With Them, Listened To Them Talk, And Came Away With Some Disturbing Insights, Including That Hooking Up Carries With It No Obligation On Either Side Relationships And Romance Are Seen As Messy And Time Consuming, And Love Is Postponed Or Worse, Seen As Impossible Some Young Women Can Handle This, But Many Can T, And They Re Being Battered Physically And Emotionally By The New Dating Landscape The Result Is A Generation Of Young People Stymied By Relationships And Unsure Where To Turn For Help The Need To Be Connected Intimately To Others Is As Central To Our Well Being As Food And Shelter, Stepp Writes In Unhooked In My View, If We Don T Get It Right, We Re Probably Not Going To Get Anything Else In Life RightUnhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both

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[[ Ebook ]] ➩ Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both Author Laura Sessions Stepp – E17streets4all.co.uk
  • Hardcover
  • 288 pages
  • Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both
  • Laura Sessions Stepp
  • English
  • 24 December 2018
  • 1594489386

10 thoughts on “Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both

  1. says:

    Our culture assures both young men and women that sex without attachment or boundaries is healthy This author, through hundreds of interviews with tweens through college co eds debunks this myth to prove that sex without responsibility is not only unhealthy, but will set these young people down the slippery slope to emotional and psychological disaster Young men, and especially young women, aren t wired to enjoy sex without connection Feminists got it all wrong, yet again It us our daughters Our culture assures both young men and women that sex without attachment or boundaries is healthy This author, through hundreds of interviews with tweens through college co eds debunks this myth to prove that sex without responsibility is not only unhealthy, but will set these young people down the slippery slope to emotional and psychological disaster Young men, and especially young women, aren t wired to enjoy sex without connection Feminists got it all wrong, yet again It us our daughters who will pay the heavy burden of the lie of sexual liberation

  2. says:

    I strongly recommend this to anyone that has a teenage daughter The hook up culture is shocking but oh so true I think I escaped high school college as this was beginning and I can vouch for it s awful truth Our culture promotes girls to be independent women and concentrate on careers before love What does that leave them with The idea that hook ups and one night stands without feeling is power and makes them immune to hurt and distracting emotions with the opposite sex Laura Sessi I strongly recommend this to anyone that has a teenage daughter The hook up culture is shocking but oh so true I think I escaped high school college as this was beginning and I can vouch for it s awful truth Our culture promotes girls to be independent women and concentrate on careers before love What does that leave them with The idea that hook ups and one night stands without feeling is power and makes them immune to hurt and distracting emotions with the opposite sex Laura Sessions Stepp book explains the domino effect of this trend and how it prevents girls and women from learning important life lessons in the long run and leave them feeling empty and confused when it s time to pursue romantic relationships.not to mention the STD s I think it s a good idea for high school girls to read this too It s a great look into the everyday pressures that adolescents and hormonal teens are faced with in the 21st Century

  3. says:

    So far what I have learned from this book rich, overachieving white people treat other people like objects, want to control everything, wonder why they are lonely and loveless Film at 11.Now I have finished the book and the initial impression remains The choices these girls are making are extremely distressing, but I have to wonder just how many people the scenarios in the book apply to While clearly some young women are able to use their bodies as currency, this never was the case for me So far what I have learned from this book rich, overachieving white people treat other people like objects, want to control everything, wonder why they are lonely and loveless Film at 11.Now I have finished the book and the initial impression remains The choices these girls are making are extremely distressing, but I have to wonder just how many people the scenarios in the book apply to While clearly some young women are able to use their bodies as currency, this never was the case for me even if I had for some reason wanted to choose to behave like these girls, I doubt I would have been able to, I ve just never been that attractive or high status I found myself feeling not pity but disgust and annoyance at these protagonists, as a result So they re pretty and desirable and choose to act like vapid, promiscuous fools this isn t my problem exactly, is it I also kept wondering, in the chapters about high school girls, where are the parents It shocked me that they seemed to be aware of how their daughters were behaving but didn t feel moved to do too much about it Sure there were summary groundings but when that didn t seem to change much why not make asevere move, like pulling them out of school and putting them in a single sex academy or something Surely money was not an object for most of these folks I can only guess that the parents, too, wanted to be cool and that meant not being too strict or restrictive that s what those uncool prudish conservatives and religious nuts do, right Overall I was left with the impression that these girls and the little culture they are part of are causing irreparable damage, and no one wants to be uncool enough to really care and put a stop to it Very sad The author, too, wanted to be cool and her I m so with it, they tell me EVERYTHING, girlfriend gushing writing style got very old very quickly

  4. says:

    Comments This is a book written by a conservative female and for conservative, upper class females It is written for Baby Boomers and their children, comparing what dating sex was like on campus then versus now with then being the Boomers college experiences and now being the new generation It ignores Generation X completely which is an important part of the history of sex on college campuses.But the bottom line is that this book is about privileged young women dealing with casual sex Comments This is a book written by a conservative female and for conservative, upper class females It is written for Baby Boomers and their children, comparing what dating sex was like on campus then versus now with then being the Boomers college experiences and now being the new generation It ignores Generation X completely which is an important part of the history of sex on college campuses.But the bottom line is that this book is about privileged young women dealing with casual sex which is treated as a new phenomenon by calling it hooking up The focus of the book is on young women who behave like men insofar as they have taken on the bar and pick up scenes and one night stands and made them their own But Sessions Stepp says that this partying and casual sex is a problem for these women They do it, she says, because they crave love and attention But the traditional veunue for finding love and affection is dating and dating is becoming extinct So, says Sessions Stepp, these women have no options but to have casual dalliances as a replacement for dating And this acceptance by young women of casual sex without any sort of relationship friendship or commitment is a terrible thing because the women lose at love And love is all that they really want Therefore they are victims of modern culture This modern culture demands of them that they succeed in their studies and careers They have been told from early ages that their personal welfare as educated, accomplished women isimportant than finding love This message is ruining their lives Women are biologically wired to need love and connection, says Session Stepp, and so casual sex is bad for these young women They need to learn about how to find a relationship but this is not happening because those terrible feminists have forced things like educational and professional success on these women to the detriment of their love lives.Sessions Stepp prescribes that these young women admit that they are unhappy and want love and that they give up the bar scene to bake cookies And if Sessions Stepp s prescription were to work, these women would tone their ambitions down in favor of relationships which would leave them less competitive in life and probablydependent on a man, thus solving the problem of these women losing in love because of their ambition to win and control This book is just another conservative attack on feminist advancement Its contradictions are endless Sessions Stepp lets the reader know how smart and amazing these women are, but then she tells us that these same intelligent, amazing women are too dumb to figure out the world of sex and relationships without the advice of their mothers Sessions Stepp tells us how great it is that women have gained equality with men, but then says that women mistakenly think that they can go to bars and pick up guys, when this is not naturally a woman s domain but should be left to the men And then we are told that young women are victims of the hook up culture when they would really rather have other options dating But the entire book claims that women are the force driving the hook up culture because they are too busy and too ambitious to bother with devoting their extra time to dating All of Sessions Stepp s proclamations apply only to upper class, privileged women because the lower and lower middle class women certainly don t have trips to Europe, the Mexican Riviera, and high status internships in metro DC taking up all of their time and taking them away from finding a husband Sessions Stepp says little to nothing about young men in this book After all, this entire problem of casual sex replacing marriage is the fault of women and it hurts women Even when Sessions Stepp does introduce us to a few young men in this book, she doesn t take the time to do with the guys what she does with the women describe their looks as carefully as possible The most Session Stepp wants to tell us about the men is that they are wearing shorts This is certainlythan I need to know anyway, but her insistence on describing the women s hair dark, blonde, long , eyes, bodies thin, curvy, etc , complexions, etc reeks of tabloid mentality analysis rather than an actual examination of current demographic trends This book is not worth your time, but if you must read it, the first two chapters will suffice, as the rest of the book is repetitive

  5. says:

    I thought this book was absolutely terrific I read some of the other reviews where readers complained the author advocated going back to the 1950s where girls acted like demure ladiesI didn t get that all Obviously this is a small and mostly white, upper class segment of young women, but I trusted her reporting Her argument is that girls have completely misappropriated the term Feminism to mean sleeping around, and they ve missed the point of it all She believes and I agree that the I thought this book was absolutely terrific I read some of the other reviews where readers complained the author advocated going back to the 1950s where girls acted like demure ladiesI didn t get that all Obviously this is a small and mostly white, upper class segment of young women, but I trusted her reporting Her argument is that girls have completely misappropriated the term Feminism to mean sleeping around, and they ve missed the point of it all She believes and I agree that the way most women used to act with men waiting to become intimate when you know you have the man s respect and commitment is how many found relationships that fulfilled them Nowadays, that s not happening nearly as much, and women AND men are suffering from it Reading it actually made me consider if working with young women who are confused, frustrated, and making poor decisions with little guidance in their personal lives is something I might want to consider doing I thought it was a fascinating look on how young women have sold out to the idea that they SHOULD be behaving in ways that don t truly satisfy them because that s what everyone else is doing Really good read It sparked many an interesting conversation with my friends, family, and co workers

  6. says:

    This book was rather depressing to me as someone who must raise a daughter in this modern world As a woman who grew up in the post sexual revolution climate, I know what it s like to come of age in a world where women who believe in modesty or abstinence are, in some sense at least, outsiders But even in the 90 s, when I went to college, things were not as lax as they are described here I was aware that hooking up went on in college, but it was easy enough not to be a part of that scene, an This book was rather depressing to me as someone who must raise a daughter in this modern world As a woman who grew up in the post sexual revolution climate, I know what it s like to come of age in a world where women who believe in modesty or abstinence are, in some sense at least, outsiders But even in the 90 s, when I went to college, things were not as lax as they are described here I was aware that hooking up went on in college, but it was easy enough not to be a part of that scene, and I hardly think it was the norm I believe dating was still the norm It makes me wonder how much has changed since I graduated from college, and how much is simply exaggerated and sensationalized by journalists and nonfiction book writers Either way, I am glad thatandbooks like this are being written, books that sound a trumpet horn to young women to let them know that they are not abnormal or prudish if they are uncomfortable with or turned off by the broader culture s sexual laxity It s important because, unless they are a part of a religious subculture, there s almost no one telling young women that their powerful yearnings to link sex, love, and commitment are normal and valid There s almost no one telling them that they re feelings of post coital emptiness aren t a sign that they lack confidence or empowerment, but a sign that they aren t having sex in the right context Overall, however, the book was far too anecdotal and didn t really offer a clear direction ahead The author took a sort of weak, wishy washy middle ground that was essentially useless A far better book on this topic is Girls Gone Mild

  7. says:

    I still don t know how I feel about this book I didn t read it all the way through because she states her thesis on every page The book is full of short synopses examining young women s lives in what Stepp calls the unhooked culture, where one night hookups take precedence over long term relationships She uses a lot of anecdotes to shock the reader right away, and then waits a little while to get to the real meat of her argument about how the hookup culture began and why she thinks it is ba I still don t know how I feel about this book I didn t read it all the way through because she states her thesis on every page The book is full of short synopses examining young women s lives in what Stepp calls the unhooked culture, where one night hookups take precedence over long term relationships She uses a lot of anecdotes to shock the reader right away, and then waits a little while to get to the real meat of her argument about how the hookup culture began and why she thinks it is bad for women I found her views of the younger generations a bit off kilter, and of the society is coming to a rotten end variety I wanted the author to acknowledge that in the end it all comes down to the individual person and the decisions she makes Upbringing, peers, media and society do play a role, but there is still such a thing as free will

  8. says:

    This book falls a bit under the self help read Not a normal book that I would enjoy, however one that should be read by all who feel as though they can t seem to get things right regarding love.More emphasis on the college era but still applicable to anyone who s every felt used.

  9. says:

    This book picks up right where Reviving Ophelis left off Stepp does an amazing job of chronicling several subjects over the period of a year their hookups, heartbreaks and incredibly incisive questions about society and this disturbing trend towards physical involvement with no strings attached At the very end, she finally breaks journalistic professionalism and tells us what she thinks, and it s wonderfully cathartic.

  10. says:

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers To view it, click here This book was absolutely awful It was written version of the Real World Lets take the most emotionally immature people we can find and examine the inner workings of their social lives Then lets blame everyone but the people in question for their own faults Also lets discuss the immorality of my generation as opposed to the clearly superior way of doing things that our parents had That worked out great for them didn t it.

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